Who “Wacked” Comedy in the RP???

Yes Comedy has been Murdered in the RP…

Perhaps, it was inevitable. I mean, when you can’t poke fun at the leaders of the land without fear of getting a .45 embedded in your skull. But I’d like to believe that comedy died when hipocracy started to reign in this land of Juan dela Cruz and Lapu-Lapu. Or maybe when the people who run the industry started to think that screaming faggots were funny instead of punch lines. And of course there was the influx of the intellectually demise when reality shows reached our shores.

But a lot to blame is just us. I mean, why do people watch the crap??? Why is it a such a big deal to talk about Mari Mar and her shaking ass??? Or Angel Locsin and those push up bras? Comedy was wacked by people who are on top, who care more about the numbers they see in their ( fake???) rateings, then the sound of laughter so much needed by the poor common tao.

For those who have had the misfortune of watching some of the latest so called sit-coms, all you have to do is ask your parents or uncles or even just remember a few years back and you will notice that they are all reharsed bad versions of what used to be funny. Same banana que just different faces that attempt to act. —there is a very thin line of “nakakatawa” as opposed sa “nag-papatawa”. Nowadays, sad to say…nagpapatawa sila.

TV and movie execs always ask for concepts that are “out of the box”—one of my favorite qoutes is “They can’t do that—cause they don’t even know what the box is”… Again, same banana–different bad actors.

I pray for the day when we see good comedies on RP TV. The measure of progress of any nation is seen in how hard we can laugh at ourselves and make the best of it. I don’t understand why we can’t have shows like “That 70′s Show”, “Sienfield”, “Everybody Loves Raymond” —- very pinoy lahat yan. May gusto pa nga ako….”Patay na Patay Ako Saiyo”….a show much like “Six Feet Under”  wherein our bida sees and talks to the dead…at simpre patay na patay sa sexying kapit bahay…well…. The top brass want “Big Blunder…” I’m sorry….Big Brother pala, or Deal or No Deal…. Mari-Mar, Lupin…. All rip offs and insults to the creativity of the Pinoy Writer/Director and Independent Producer..

So until the Second Coming, we may all have to wait before we can laugh again!!!

Or maybe we may get lucky and all of them get hit by lightning!!!

Bright Ideas for Business

1. 24 hour open Barbershop !!!

2. Photobook about Photographers takeing Photos

3. Moviehouse for the Blind

Test Broadcast and the Hand of Destiny

“the sword  of time will pierce our skins it does’nt hurt when it begins…but as it works it’s way on in…the pain grows stronger…”  

That’s a line from the song “Suicide is Painless”. It now haunts me a lot. It’s funny how clear things are in hind sight….

After meeting with “The Man“, I quickly assembled,what I considered the best lean mean creative team possible. I had been training some writers for one of the Giants and fortunatly for me ( and perhaps the Industry in the future ) I had access to two guys whose heads are screwed on in the right way. Kinda kooky at times,but their hearts are in the center of passion for what we do best — write comedy.

By the way “The Man” gave me a vague concept of a show that we were suppose to develop. As a matter of fact,we got the go signal to develop a lot of new concepts….

Over several bottles of our favorite necter ( COLD BEER ) The Boys and I decide that we can play with “The Man’s ” idea,but we agreed to put a lot of ourselves into it. We needed a great reasearcher— and we had him.

Before I go any furthur allow me to present ” The Man’s ” concept : a simple no brainer— we get 3 girls who are looking for a date with the potencial of becoming their life long partner, a mama’s boy,and his dominating mother. The three girls are to subjected to “domestic” challenges to determine if they are worthy of our prince charming’s attention. This is to be decided by the mother…. Yep, I know very original ( sarcastic ,ha? ) . The title for this lame show was to be “Kaya Mo Ba Si Inay” . It was suppose to hosted by one of the country’s  dream boys—- of course we changed it.

Getting back to the Researcher, we met with this nice guy and he joined the team immediatly. In reality, he was always part of the team, however, we could not quite place him. This show seemed to be the perfect place for our curved friend.

After getting the creative team together and giving them a go signal to play with the format,the task of assembling the staff was at hand.

The first thing a producer does is to employ an executive producer ( to execute the production ). This person must be trust worthy, must know how to organize,command and be responsible to the producer for the itty-gritty details of the whole production. I made my first mistake when I called in my former secretary to act as my Executive Produce.

When  first approached,my former secretary seemed to be up to the job. She bragged about being ready for all this. So,I tasked her with organizing my staff.

After this little fiasco,I now proceeded to meet with the person who was to construct my sets— The Set Guy.

The Set Guy will impress you with his so called loyalty and humble chit chats about the past. Word of advise to the wise—never get him drunk! Of course, this lesson was learned much later on in the game.

The Set Guy and I came to an agreement. He presented me with a design that I approved and he was on his way to create our sets.

Now came the long wait. As everyone was excited building the show,it was time for me to present things to “ The Man “.

We set up a meeting and I was ready to rumble…. Sad, “ The Man “ was not at the meeting. It turned out that I was to present to “ The Man’s ” minons. So, what the fuck? Might as well…

The “new concept” featured,instead of the dream boy, one of the better comics in the country. The “challenges” were still focused on domestic tasks,but a lot of twists were added. We decided to go out of the box with the treatment of the show. Presenting it as very raw and free for all. The emphaize would be on the rapor between our host and the viewing public. We would show all the imperfection of local television productions in the process. There were regular portions and segments, one line punchlines and even a small sit-com with in the show. — the minions liked it. Eventually,we got word that ” The Man ” had given the go signal. Off we were to mount the pilot. But before that I had to sign The Contract.

A day easily remebered, Valentine’s Day. Yep, this was the day I signed The Contract with ” The Man “. I was called to see them in their sub-office in Quezon City. Together with “The Man“ was my friend. We signed up to do 11 episodes with the promise of another season if we showed potential. I was asked about the other concepts, which I did not make any comments on. We were to tape in 2 weeks.

During the week that followed, The Boys, I, The Researcher  and my talent coordinator held auditions for the girls, our prince charming , and his mother. We were ready!!! Unfortunatly, my Executive Producer was not.

She did not know what was going on. The day before the pilotg tapeing my EP had no idea what to do. I asked my Talent Coordinator to help out. Of course this would cost me extra money— money not incorperated in the presented production cost…but there was no choice—so…

To make a long story short— we did the pilot without a lot of problems. We were paid by The Man and everything looked like it was smooth sailing onward—- not to be the case!!!

AUGUST 14

Time to finish this crap so that I can I can go on with more useless things…

I’m gonna cut out the crappy stuff and get to the ittyb gritty.

The BOYS and I workedn hard to come up with something we believed was innovative in a sense—something that would bring a few smiles into the homes of people who came back from work and had nothing but murdering their wives on their minds. In a way we did accomplish the goal. My staff was actually a great one. Never asking for payment,as THE MAN decided in his distorted brain that we worked at his pleasure and that the only reason we did so was to fatten his already bank account.

By the 3rd week, things became obvious, THE MAN had no reasons to be honorable with his commitments to us. He did not plan to pay. I went though the motions of billing him and got some strange excuse.

Being the idealistic son of bitch that I am, and also praying for a savior for our dying industry I waited for 13 plus weeks…and NADA….

We were just a test broadcast and the hand of destiny slapped us in the face.

Realizations came afloat as some of my staff started to shed their skins and showed what they were make of—- dollars and cents!!!

The Set Guy,My Executive Producer, A Crooked Little Boy, Some of the Staff and sadly a member of the post production outfit all took the Judas road….and here I am still knocking on heaven’s door trying to collect what is still due us all…. alas…. one big ARAY and a lot of truth that hurts…but as things go..even the Titanic rose …..eventually…. yata? Now on to better stuff 

Meeting THE MAN ( ??? )

The MAN ( ??? ) seems to be unassuming and honestly quite nice for someone who does a lot of squinting ( perhaps this is due to the fact that his eyes are a little “too oriental” to trust ). He speaks in a slow and high toned voice, which matches his graceful way of walking. The MAN tells me of HIS dream of being a player in the world of radio signals that convert into images and haunt our daily lives via the Boob Tube ( or what I now call “the bobo machine”. He flirts with my passion for the industry and sublimilary seduces me into day dreaming.

It’s been a while since a serious player has entered the court of the Network Wars and this may just be worth my time.

Beginnings

So,this is how it looks!!! This is the first time I am attempting doing this “blog” thing. Why? Well, why not, maybe somehow there’s something to be shared. Perhaps,nothing really but a lot of blabber coming from someone nobody really knows…what the hell…

For the past year I have been,what I like to call “semi-retired”–which actually means just bumming around. However,in the process, I have come to realize a lot of things. Perhaps the most revealing— people don’t give a fuck about you if you are not “THERE”!!!

Now, “Being There” has many definitions….like, once I was “THERE” …I mean kindda way up in my profession…I used to write and direct for a lot of top rateing television shows here the Republic of the Pilipinas…. I wrote for such classics as “Kaluskos Musmos”, “Chicks to Chicks”( which became “Chika Chika Chicks” when we moved over to ABS-CBN from IBC 13 way back in 1987), “Iskul Bukol”,”Palibhasa Lalake” Two Plus Two”, and many many more..More than I want to remember.. I directed some classics too. The likes of “Sitak Ni Jack”, “Ang TV”, “Abangan ang Susunod na Kabanata” , and “Kool Ka Lang” —again I wish to stop ’cause sometimes it hurts to remeber. Well…so is life…

Recently, I was called out of my cocoon of bumness in order to do a ,what seemed at the time, a “challengeing” project. An independent producer ( I will not mention the name ) had aquired the rights to air prime time shows at one of the sequestered networks. The challenge was to kick start the beginning of a new and refreshing TV channel. Little did I know that this would be the start of a nightmare….I am about to get fucked!!! And by fucked I mean…really fucked! Reality bites man, and it bites hard…. but alas, I am jumping way ahead of myself….

It was November of last year when I get a call from an old freind who has been in the industry for a long time. She was on a haitus for a while and just came back from Malaysia,where she worked as top TV executives in one their Networks. We meet at her house. Along with her husband, who by the way is a good friend also, we sit down for lunch and start to update each other on what has been happing to us since we last saw one another. I am informed that she has accepted a juicy position from someone who wants to become a serious player in our industry. She asked me if I would like to get on board and start pioneering ( again ). I expalin to her how I feel about the industry nowadays. I have always been into comedy and believe that the road to success is in smile. I feel that comedy is dead today and that as soon as it decides to ressurect —I would be more then willing to jump on the train., but not now. This kind of frustrates her. She asks me what would it take for me to come out of my “semi-retiredness” and Help out. Without a blink I say “if I was allowed to produce”.

You see, I strongly believe that “line produceing” is the only way that the TV industry in this country will be saved from the crap that is now being aired. We need creative control over the babies we conjure up for these arrogant gaints.

My friend tells me she will discuss this with her boss and get back to me as soon as she can. We finish lunch and for the rest of the afternoon just enjoy each other’s company.

A few days pass and I am informed that her boss is more than willing to consider my proposal…. Umm…sounds good….Maybe there is a TV God after all…..I begin to fall into a state of ecstasy….. imagining the furture of Pinoy TV… a free and wild industry that over  flows with colorful formats and wonderful ideas that tickle the minds of our televiewers…A industry that will be open for all dreamers that have an iota of a concept and is given the chance to prove his/her worth….a industry free from the moronic shit thrown at the innocent audience everyday by the stupid and braindead people who run the show nowadays…..

But first, I have to meet with “The Man” (???)